Many of us live from the past. We make decisions today based on past experience, past difficulties, past frustrations, and sometimes past successes. But often, our decisions today find their inspiration in all the things that were wrong with yesterday.
This habit becomes very obvious in the leadership that parents give to their children. We often play defense…just hoping to avoid our past. Let me offer a different approach. Rather than parenting from our past, why don’t we parent from our future? Why not see what God wants to do in the lives of our children and family, and then parent in reverse?
The church leader Paul wrote,
For by Him (Jesus) all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things have been created by Him and for Him—Colossians 1:16.
If we are going to parent in reverse, here are a few truths that can guide us:
• Jesus created our kids.
As much as we think of our kids as “ours,” they are actually His…all His. And they have been loaned out to us for only a season.
• Jesus specifically designed our kids.
The text reads “by Him all things were created”. That includes our children. Jesus designed them uniquely. Whatever their bent, personality, gifts, and interests, they were created by divine design.
• Jesus created our kids for Himself.
This gets a little personal. Most parents have goals and dreams for their kids. That’s not all bad. But ultimately, Jesus’ goal for our kids is the only goal that matters. They were created for His purposes. So our work is to seek Jesus first…to seek His Kingdom first, and then instill in our kids a heart for Jesus.
When these truths get into our DNA, we begin to parent from our future (what God has prepared for our kids) rather than from our past (how we or our parents fell short). We run after Jesus and show our kids how to do the same. And we lead our kids to make Kingdom decisions today that will have a Kingdom impact tomorrow.
And finally, we parent by faith rather than by fear. We give our kids a vision for God’s best. Then we inspire them, train them, and release them to pursue the vision regardless of the costs. That future will likely require sacrifice, pain, disappointment, and perhaps grave danger. Jesus told us that (Matthew 8:34-37).
So stop parenting with your rearview mirror. Take out your telescope and see the future, and then parent back to your present. When you do, your home will become a place where Jesus has first place in everything. It will also become a greenhouse for the glory of God in the next generation.
QUESTION—What steps have you taken to parent in reverse? How have your kids responded?