One study concluded that beauty is actually found in symmetry.  When a person’s eyes, nose, and mouth are lined up right, they look better.  It’s not that blondes are prettier than brunettes or vice versa.   It’s that order is more appealing than chaos.  Unfortunately, some of us look like a tornado danced on our nose.  And then others seem perfect in every way.

Solomon called the Shulammite lady, “most beautiful among women” (Song of Solomon 1:8).  Then he compared her beauty to a mare…but wait, not just any mare, but “My mare among the chariots of Pharaoh” (1:9).  That analogy doesn’t play real well these days, so I wouldn’t suggest you guys try it. But Solomon was simply saying, “Darling, you stand out! There is none like you.”

Then later she says (my wife’s favorite verse in the Bible by the way), “How handsome you are, my beloved, and so pleasant!” (1:16).  Clearly these two young lovers were attracted to each other.  But that’s not all.

She said, “Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men.  In his shade I took great delight and sat down, and his fruit was sweet to my taste” (2:3).  She was secure with him.  She trusted him because he provided for her and treated her with dignity.

Then she said, “Sustain me with raisin cakes, refresh me with apples, because I am lovesick.  Let his left hand be under my head and his right hand embrace me” (2:5-6).  Wow!  If you’re thinking she’s talking about sex, you are right.  She wanted him.

So Solomon saw an opportunity and took it.  No!  He said this, “I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or by the hinds of the field, that you will not arouse or awaken my love until it pleases” (2:7).  Everything in these two people wanted to go all the way, but it was not time.

Here’s good wisdom for the handsome boy and beautiful girl when the sparks begin to fly:

Beauty is good.

As Solomon described this girl, it’s clear that she was very attractive to him.  He saw beauty in her physical features.  After God made Eve in the garden, Adam woke up to find a beautiful woman to be his mate.  Ugly is bad.  Beauty is good.

Beauty needs a closer look.

Solomon recognized this girl’s beauty, but then he watched her life.  He was attracted by her looks, but he was captured by her character.  He compared her to others, and she stood out.  She too watched him and found him to be trustworthy, hard working, and loyal.  Tommy Nelson used to say there’s nothing more tragic than a Miss. America face with a dime store heart.  Character produces beauty.

Beauty deserves brakes.

Solomon never assumed their attraction to one another gave them permission to fulfill all their desires right then.  He revered her and knew she deserved more than what she wanted at the moment.  Guys and girls are made to go all the way.  Solomon knew that, so he put the brakes on early because it wasn’t time.

Sometimes insecure girls who need the affirmation of a man are quick to offer themselves too soon to a handsome boy.  Sometimes, boys who lack character and the maturity to handle their natural desires are far too ready to awaken love.  But guys and girls who can’t control their appetites outside of marriage probably won’t be able to control their appetites inside marriage.  It’s a heart issue not a physical one.

So if you’re lovesick, consider yourself blessed…but beware.  You’re built to go all the way, but “all the way” will steal your heart, ruin your character, and spoil your future unless it is time.

Now it’s your turn.  Parents, how are you shepherding your kids through these issues?  Students, how do you respond when the sparks begin to fly?