Rosalina Gonzáles was arrested and lost custody of her kids after spanking her 2-year old daughter with her open hand, leaving red welts on her backside, according to a Fox News report.

And while standing in a Corpus Christi, Texas courtroom, this mother heard these words from Judge Jose Longoria:

“You don’t spank children today. In the old days maybe we got spanked, but it was a different quarrel. You don’t spank children. You understand?”

Now the “spanking debate” gains renewed attention as pundits, psychologists, and even judges weigh in. I have seen few specific details on this case, but here’s what the judge communicated to the defendant and to a listening world:

(1) Spanking children is universally out of bounds.
(2) Spanking children is something parents used to do, but should no longer do.
(3) The courts know what is best for a child’s development.

Let’s be clear that there is no excuse for child abuse. If this mother crossed the line, she must be punished and her children protected. But the judge spoke clearly to the issue of spanking not abuse.

As families disintegrate, parenting challenges become more intense. Young parents have few role models to follow and little exposure to sound instruction. So “experts” from various fields now fill the vacuum with pop-psychology, conventional wisdom, and politically correct propaganda. All the while timeless truths, godly examples, and biblical counsel are marginalized.

So what are parents to do? Should spanking ever be used in training children or is it out of date and off limits?

I will not attempt to say everything there is to say on the subject, but these proven principles may help:

Spanking is not abuse.
“Do not withhold discipline from a child. If you strike him with a rod, he will not die”—Proverbs 23:13.

Giving a kid Kool-Aid is not harmful. Pouring three gallons of Kool-Aid down a child’s throat is abusive. That’s excessive and no one condones excessive spanking. But just as child abuse is a tragedy, this generation has suffered grave harm from irresponsible parents failing to administer appropriate discipline.

Spanking is redemptive.
“If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol”—Proverbs 23:14.

Pain is a great tutor, and meaningful consequences can direct your child’s heart toward righteousness. While spanking inflicts a certain level of discomfort on a child’s buttocks now, the penalty of an undisciplined and unrighteous life is much more severe than that later.

Spanking shows love.
“Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him”—Proverbs 13:24.

Some people say that a loving parent would never spank their child. Those are the same people who might say that a loving God would not allow or even administer pain and suffering on people He created. But the Bible is clear that God disciplines those he loves (Hebrews 12:6).

And quite frankly, spanking your child is not fun. So many parents opt out. They simply choose not to apply themselves to learning how to use spanking as part of the discipline process. That is lazy, selfish, and unloving.

Spanking is one tool among many.
“The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother”—Proverbs 29:15.

Arbitrary spanking is never encouraged in Scripture and is not effective. Spanking in anger or impatience is never acceptable. And spanking after counting to three shows little intelligence.

But spanking can serve as one powerful instrument in a parent’s child-training toolbox. Spanking along with sound instruction, natural consequences, modeling, and other devices can serve your child well.  But when spanking is not an option at all, parents put their children at great risk.

For more parenting insight visit Focus on the Family or Family Life Today.

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