As much as we don’t want to admit it, men can get lazy in the areas of life that aren’t instantly measured. At work, we get immediate feedback and are rewarded through promotions and financial compensation. In our hobbies, we are affirmed by the scorecard and high-fives from the boys. Even at church, we are noticed for our faithfulness and commitment.
But it’s different at home. The pats on the back are rare. We aren’t sure if we are making progress. Our kids are growing older, but we aren’t sure how to help them grow up.
So we do what we know. We provide a house and an occasional vacation, and hope for the best. But Solomon discovered that the things we don’t work just don’t work. Our everyday choices add up.
Solomon turned his heart toward godless women, and then he attached his heart to the perverted worship of their pagan gods (1 Kings 11:8). His choices separated him from his God (verses 9-10). And ultimately God ripped the kingdom out of the hands of his sons (verses 11-13).
It’s not hard to see that God called Solomon to something greater than he ever experienced. The purposes of God were not detoured by Solomon’s rebellion, but the king’s kids missed out on the Kingdom legacy that was available to them…simply because of the everyday choices of their dad.
So what everyday choices will make the difference for our kids? As we finish looking at this season in Solomon’s life we get a few good answers:
Love Your Wife.
I know that sounds elementary, but nothing will kill our influence like attaching our hearts to “foreign” women. If we read Song of Solomon (the diary of young love), we are bewildered at how Solomon could walk away from his wife and chase after these other women.
But it happens in the everyday choices of men. It happens when we begin sharing our hearts with the lady at work. It happens when we start spending “alone time” at lunch or in our office with another woman. It happens when we try to be a “good friend” to a woman who is not our wife.
Men and women are built to get together, and if we cultivate a deepening relationship with a woman, we will cross lines that will turn our heart away from the wife of our youth.
Act on Your Faith.
For Solomon, God was a good idea but not good enough to influence his actions. Many men affirm God and Jesus and faith. We just don’t do anything about it. Our works do not save us, but our works do prove genuine faith (James 2:17).
So dads demonstrate our affection for Jesus by pursuing Him, by seeking Him first, by chasing after no other gods, by building our lives on His Word, the Bible. We don’t just take our kids to church, we join Jesus’ mission to make disciples of all the nations. We teach our kids how to love Jesus by loving Jesus with all of our heart.
You may wonder how that happens. It happens only as an overflow of our relationship with Jesus. It will look a little different for all of us. But our lives will be characterized by action-oriented, creative, energetic, and Gospel-driven priorities.
Fight for Your Kids.
Solomon was self-consumed. It was about his wants, fulfilling his desires, and accomplishing his dreams. In a culture where personal goals are elevated as idols, it’s easy to justify this self-centered living.
But dadhood recognizes that our lives are really about the people coming after us. The World War II generation is known as the greatest generation because they sacrificed and gave themselves for a future they knew they probably would never enjoy. They were called to something greater than self-actualization.
Dads who confront the enemy now, dads who give themselves to prayer and fasting now, dads who sacrifice personal pleasure now, dads who reject materialism now, set our kids up to join God’s global movement in just a few short years.
Solomon was a man of great privilege and had the opportunity to build a legacy of faith and make a Kingdom impact. But he walked away to chase other gods. Although it cost him his reputation, it probably cost his kids their eternal souls.
So dadhood champions the simple, unnoticed, unrewarded everyday choices and trusts Jesus to build His Kingdom.
If you have other observations, please comment below.
