I am a father.  God gave me an incredible wife and blessed us with three children.  I love our kids, and cannot imagine life without them.  Their attributes are too many to mention here.

But every year around Father’s Day, I get this pit in my stomach.  I know it’s the day we celebrate fathers, but maybe I’m not doing this dadhood thing right.  These kids are growing up so fast.  Maybe I’m not spending enough “quality” time with them.  I make mistakes.  How will those affect them?  I want to provide for them.  But what if I can’t give them what they need (or want)?  I hear about courageous living, but I have my doubts if I’ve got what it takes.  I even cry when I watch Father of the Bride…what’s that about?

Then I read statistics from Steve Wright like:

  • “Over 69% of youth are leaving traditional church after high school” (Josh McDowell).
  • “58%-84% of graduating youth from church youth groups are not returning” (Mark Matlock).
  • “Only 33% of churched youth say that the church will play a part in their lives when they leave home” (George Barna).

As a pastor, it’s tempting to just scream at the dark.  But being a father to three kids requires more than condemning what’s wrong.  Fatherhood makes me ask real questions about what my life communicates to the people closest to me.  I can do little to rescue an entire generation from the coming secular tsunami, but I can be a dad to three children who are paying closer attention to who I am than to what I say.

So what can I do?  What can I do to be the dad God has called me to be and that my kids need me to be during this season of life?  Answer: Solomon.  Yes, I know he wasn’t a model dad.  But quite frankly, his failures take the pressure off of us.  He pursued things that don’t last, things that many men are tempted to chase.  And in the process he destroyed his family and their future.

By looking at this wise man who failed to apply what he knew, we see a clear picture of what doesn’t work.  He achieved greatness in every measurable area of life, yet he lost his family.

So over the next few days, I’m going to post a few observations from 1 Kings 11 that should encourage every one of us work-in-progress dads to pursue the priorities that build up our kids and leave a legacy of Kingdom impact.

Solomon had every opportunity to get it right, but his heart was wooed away.  We don’t have to make the same attractive, expected, celebrated mistakes.

Don’t let Father’s Day discourage you.  Replace the weight of misplaced expectations with the God-empowered blessings of dadhood.

Stay tuned.  Next post comes tomorrow.